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dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

(via pizza)

Tags: same
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unfollowfriday:

when you and your buddy are low on potassium

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(via bacondolphin)

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madehimsaycomfychairs:

thebeauty-isa-beast:

curvellas:

my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.

My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my  eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.

this is currently my favorite post on tumblr 

(via gaypseudonym)

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husssel:

enemaroberts:

oknope:

the only boys i need in my life:

  • michael (kors)
  • christian (dior/louboutin)
  • jimmy (choo)
  • louis (vuitton)
  • tommy (hilfiger)
  • yves (saint-laurent)
  • giorgio (armani)
  • louis-francois (cartier)

the only boys yall can afford

(good)will 

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(via andrewlx)

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(Source: meme4u, via pizza)

Tags: same
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camera-eyes-and-far-cries:

aqualateral:

back to school commercials

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back to school commercials after graduation

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(via orgasm)

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dalarenzo:

ivywalled:

I wish every day started with a “previously on” so that I’d know which of my life’s plot points were going to be important that day

I think I’ll just record ”Previously on your life: you didn’t leave the house, avoided responsibility like the plague, cried over fictional characters and ate everything in the fridge" and just play the audio everyday when I wake up

(via damonsexatore)

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lacie108:

"but which one of your favorite characters is your absolute favorite?”

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(via damonsexatore)

Tags: SAME
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shorten:

"how are you feeling?"

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(via beautifultwistedsimplicity)

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memeguy-com:

I aged my cat years with an aging app

memeguy-com:

I aged my cat years with an aging app

(via judgmentalbookcover)

Tags: OH MY GOD!!
Chat
  • me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers
Photoset
Tags: thg
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drowninginmysepulchre:

communistbakery:

if you were a flower
you’d be a damnnnndelion

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(Source: communistbakery, via judgmentalbookcover)

Tags: oitnb same
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kryberedits:

Freshmen Year:

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Senior Year:

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(via beautifultwistedsimplicity)

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itsbetterthananal:

im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it

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(via beautifultwistedsimplicity)